Shakespeare Has a Quote for Everything: One-Shots
by TKcloud9
Summary: One-shots from the universe of the aforementioned story, everything from bb!next-gen Avengers to original character interactions within the universe. Latest: Russian Roulette.
1. Teething Troubles

**A/N: Hey everyone! Welcome to one shots! :D Suggestions and requests gladly taken into consideration as long as PG and non-cuss-wordy. Hope you enjoy this first chapter!**

 **aAaAaAa**

 **Teething Troubles**

"Okay, are you sure you've got this?"

Steve kissed his wife. "I've got this," he assured her. "Go."

"Okay, because the UN summit for extraterrestrial immigration isn't that important-"

He smiled indulgently. "This is the most important meeting of the year and you know it, doll."

"Ugh, fine." Diana gave Meg a kiss on the head, and a final cuddle. "Okay baby, here we go with daddy." She handed the five-month-old over reluctantly and picked up her bag. "I'll call you tonight when I get to the embassy, and don't forget that Sam and Bucky are at the facility if you need backup, and don't forget to change her before you put her down tonight, and-"

Steve smiled and hugged her. "Sweetheart, it's going to be fine. You'll be home in two days, and you can call anytime you need to."

She grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. Okay. Here we go." She ruffled Abby's fur as a goodbye, and left the house. Steve and Meg waved to her until the car left the driveway.

"Say bye mommy!" Steve said, waving Meg's little hand gently.

Meg gurgled happily and waved her other hand in imitation. "Baaa bababaa," she babbled, smiling cheerfully at her father.

He kissed her bald head. "That's right baby, it's just you and me and Abby."

The dog looked up at the mention of her name and nudged Steve's leg inquiringly before going back into the house to take a nap.

aAa

Everything was fine for the first two hours. Steve made breakfast for himself and fed Meg a bottle, burped her while they watched a couple of episodes of _Leverage_ on TV... and then she started fussing.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Steve asked, bouncing her gently and rubbing her back. "Still got some leftover air in your tum-tum?"

She whimpered impatiently and fisted a hand into his shirt.

"You need a diaper change?" He checked. Everything was clean and dry.

Meg cried and rubbed at her face, and then started to chew on her little fist as she whimpered.

He rocked her, and she cried. He put on music, and she cried. He laid her down on her stomach, and she cried. He had MAX scan her, and she cried. "There is nothing physically wrong with her," the MAX unit reported.

Steve groaned. "Don't tell me she's just missing mommy because these are going to be the longest two days of our lives."

MAX was not qualified to reply, and so he did not.

Steve lifted Meg into his arms and carried her back out to the living room. "Okay," he said, patting her back and handing her a toy, which she threw to the floor, "we can do this, right?"

Abby whined and covered her eyes with a paw before escaping upstairs.

aAa

An hour later, Meg was still fussy and irritable, overheated and miserable, and Steve was contemplating borrowing Tony's jet and flying to Switzerland to find Diana.

His cell phone rang. Steve put Meg down on the blankie on the floor, and she responded by screaming. He picked up the phone and moved to the kitchen. "Rogers."

"I was going to ask how it was going but I can hear how it's going just fine," Tony replied, the smirk audible in his voice. "How long has Maggie been crying?"

Steve sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "At least an hour I think. I don't know what's wrong, I've tried everything, but she just keeps crying. I don't think I can take much more of this."

"Have you tried burping her?"

"Yep."

"Diaper?"

"That was the first thing I checked."

"Strange clothing item giving her a rash?"

"Nope."

"Bug bite?"

"Nope."

"Sick?"

"Nope." Steve winced as Meg's crying reached ear-shattering levels.

"Maybe she just misses her mom," Tony said dismissively. "Just wait for her to cry herself out. The first time Pepper left on business to Korea, Jay cried for three hours before he fell asleep, and then he was fine."

"That's probably it," Steve said, with a sigh. "Thanks Tony."

"No problem. If you need a hand, we can come visit. Pepper is vaguely Diana-like."

"I think we should be okay."

"Cool. Try not to die." Tony hung up.

"Thanks," Steve muttered, putting the phone away. He went back into the living room. Meg was just straight crying, big tears rolling down her cheeks as she stared reproachfully up at him. He knelt to scoop her up and wipe away her tears. "C'mon baby doll, you're going to make yourself sick," he coaxed, kissing her cheek. "Mommy will be home before you know it."

She laid her head on his shoulder and cried.

He rubbed her back and started to pace the floor.

She cried herself to sleep, _finally_ , an hour later, her breath hitching periodically as she slumbered.

Steve didn't dare sit down, or move, or even breathe too loudly.

aAa

Meg slept for an hour, and then woke up, blinking slowly. Her cute rosebud mouth formed into a perfect 'o' as she yawned.

Steve sighed in relief. Meg was normally a very happy baby, and was all smiles after a nap. "All right, sweetheart, you hungry?" he asked.

She wrinkled her forehead, and started to whimper again.

He hastily made a bottle and nudged the tip of it into her mouth.

She sucked at the bottle hungrily, and finished it in half the time. But every time he tried to take it away she would cry.

He studied her as she chewed on the soft rubber of the bottle, not even sucking at it, and came to a sudden conclusion. He took the bottle away.

Meg did not like that, and began to cry.

He propped her up on his shoulder and burped her hastily, trying to ignore her crying, and once she was burped he cuddled her close and stuffed a cold teething toy into her mouth.

She whimpered for a second, gummed the toy for another few seconds, and then was blissfully silent.

Steve sagged in relief against the back of the couch. "You're teething," he said, and kissed her forehead. "Oh, thank goodness. You're just teething." He gently removed the toy, and ran a finger over her gums. They were swollen and hard. "Aw, no wonder you're feeling so cruddy," he cooed, giving her back the toy and smoothing a hand over her pale blonde hair. "You've got your teeth working to come out, huh? I'd cry too if I were you." He kissed her again. "But it's going to be just fine, baby, I promise."

Meg cooed up at him, quiet and content now that her pain had been soothed. She pulled the teething ring out of her mouth, trailing a long line of drool after it, and shoved the toy back in.

"Ewwww," Steve said in a babyish tone of voice. He gently wiped the drool from her hands and chin. He stood up from the couch. "Okay. Where'd we store the Oragel?"

The baby gum-numbing gel was in the drawer in the upstairs bathroom, along with the baby Tylenol and the other baby versions of stuff that they'd stocked up on when Meg was a newborn. He found the tiny tube of stuff, and carefully rubbed it onto Meg's gums.

She made a face at the taste, but didn't complain any more.

He lay down on his and Diana's bed and laid Meg down on her back, next to him, a pillow guarding the edge. "Whew."

Abby came out from under the bed and nosed his thigh inquiringly.

"We're good," Steve said, patting Abby's head.

aAa

Diana called at seven o'clock, on a video channel. She was in pajamas, a blanket around her shoulders.

Steve smiled at the sight of her. "Hey, beautiful," he said.

She smiled. "Hey yourself. Where's Meg?"

"Asleep." Steve tilted the phone to shower her the sleeping baby on his chest.

"Aww," Diana cooed, putting a hand to her mouth. "How'd today go?"

Steve put a hand behind his head. "She started teething today."

"Oh, my poor baby," Diana said sympathetically. "How's she feeling?"

"Well she stopped crying once I figured it out," Steve admitted. "Took me a while though."

Diana smiled at him tenderly. "Panic much?"

"Maybe a bit," he said. "But she's been okay the rest of the day, as long as I give her something cold to chew on and Oragel every time she starts fussing."

"Good, I'm glad." Diana yawned.

'How'd your day go?" Steve asked.

She waved a hand vaguely. "Meh. Politics."

He smiled softly. "You should get some sleep for tomorrow."

"I will. I just wanted to see my loves before I pass out." She blew him a kiss. "I love you."

He returned the kiss. "I love you too."

She glanced down at Meg. "Give her a kiss from mommy."

"I will."

She yawned. "Good night."

"Night, doll."

The video channel closed, and Steve put his phone away. He checked the time. It was only seven o'clock, he could watch a movie or something.

He fell asleep ten minutes into a comedy movie, and didn't wake up until Meg started to fuss.

The rest of the night was spent pacing the floor with an irritable baby, and by morning Steve was thanking his super soldier serum that let him keep going on an hour and a half of sleep.

aAa

When Diana came home the day afterwards, both husband and child were exceedingly glad to see her.


	2. Meg's Second Soulmate

Meg's first word was "mama." Her second word, through much coaxing, was "dada." Her third word, to everyone's amusement and no one's surprise, was "Mine." She was looking at Jay when she said it.

"Mine," Jay replied gleefully.

"Mine," she repeated.

"Mine."

"Mine."

"Fi'ning Memo," Jay demanded from Uncle Steve.

"How do we say?" Steve prompted the tiny future billionaire.

"Pease."

The two soulmated babies sat on the floor and watched Finding Nemo. When the scene with the seagulls came on, both children shouted with laughter, and all the adults smiled.

"So that's the 'mine'," Diana said, leaning into Steve's arms as they watched their baby girl. "What I want to know is, who's the 'What time is it?'"

Steve pressed a kiss to his wife's cheek. "I guess only time will tell."

Diana turned in his arms specifically to roll her eyes at him.

When Meg was four and could read, she wanted to know what the black writing on her calf was. Diana helped her read it. "What time is it?"

Meg smiled and threw her hands up in the air. "Adventure time!" she cheered.

Diana groaned. "I hate that show. I knew we shouldn't have let Sam install the cable packages."

When Meg was seven, she grew out of Adventure Time, and wandered on to bigger and better things. So when members of her family would ask her teasingly, "What time is it?" she would reply, "Peanut butter jelly time!" and ask for a sandwich.

This was her standard reply for a while, until she started middle school. With middle school came advanced science and math classes, and with her Uncle Tony and Vision's help, she learned what time really was. Thus whenever someone asked her, "What time is it?" she would automatically reply, "Time is relative." Just to sound smart, just because she could, because seriously, who doesn't have their phone with them all the time anyway?

Meg was fourteen, and going to a private prep school. The one that fed directly into science programs at MIT, Stanford, Cal Tech, Harvard, and so on. Jay had gone here for a year to get his general education credits before going directly to MIT four years early. With his insider knowledge of how the place worked, Meg was fitting in seamlessly. She was also leading her class in US History, English Lit, and Physics. No need to wonder why she was the greatest at those three topics...

It was lunch, and Meg was sitting on the stairs in the south corner of the school, eating leftover pizza and reading a proof copy of her mom's latest book.

"What time is it?" a harried voice asked.

"Time is relative," Meg retorted instantly, her attention focused on the book.

There was a muffled thump, and then two sneakered feet appeared in Meg's field of vision. She looked up.

A girl from Meg's gym class was standing there, staring at her in shock.

"What?" Meg asked, closing the book and shoving it under her math textbook.

"You're," the girl started. "I'm Clara."

"Meg," she replied.

"We're soulmates," the girl blurted.

Meg's jaw dropped. "What! Let me see."

Clara rolled up her sleeve and showed her the black script on her forearm. 'Time is relative.'

Meg pulled down her sock to show her the words on her calf. 'What time is it?'

The two girls grinned at each other. "Hi," Clara said, sitting down next to Meg on teh stairs.

"Hi," Meg said, grinning back. "Why did you ask what time it was?"

"I needed to know, I left my phone at home and there's no clocks in the stairwells."

"Oh. It's 12:42."

Clara frowned. "I'm going to be late." She put her backpack down. "But that's okay."

Meg smiled. "Yeah."

They talked the rest of lunch and fourth period. The teachers, when informed that they were soulmates, left them alone.

"So do you have any other soulmates?" Clara asked, when they'd finished exhausting their likes, dislikes, and their mutual enjoyment of science fiction.

Meg nodded. "I have one other. Jay. We've grown up together since I was a baby."

"Oh that's really cool."

"Yeah." Meg cleared her throat awkwardly. "Can you, uh, give me a second? I need to call my mom and tell her. If you want to come over after school, that'd be great."

"Yeah, I don't have anything to do besides homework."

"All right, cool." Meg stood up and walked to the bottom of the stairs. She dug her phone out of her pocket quickly and called her mom. "Mom I found my soulmate," Meg said urgently, as soon as Diana picked up.

Diana gasped. "What? Really? At school?" She closed the screens in her office at the Avengers tower and gave her daughter her full attention.

"Yeah, she's in my gym class, and her mom named her after Clara from Doctor Who, and she's really smart, and, and, I want to tell her about us, and about Jay, but, can you do a background check mom please? Her name is Clara Collins."

"Absolutely. One second." Diana put the phone down and spoke into the air. "FRIDAY, can you run a background check on Clara Collins, fourteen years old, goes to Meg's school?"

FRIDAY ran the scan in seconds. Her parents were a pediatrician and an advertising office manager, respectively, and no one in her family had ties to superheroes, villains, SHIELD, or any government officials at all. "She is clean," FRIDAY announced.

Diana nodded. "Thank you FRIDAY." She relayed this information to Meg. "She's good, Meg. You can tell her who we are, and you can invite her over if you want."

"Okay. Thanks mom."

Diana wished she could hug her daughter through the phone. "I'm sorry that you have to ask for a background check on your soulmate before you can tell her who we are."

Meg shrugged. "It's just life, mom, it's okay."

"Okay. I love you sweetie. Can I tell your father?"

"Yeah, tell him. And tell whoever else is at the facility. Bye mom." Meg hung up and went back to where Clara was sitting. "Okay," she said, grinning at Clara brilliantly. "I'm going to tell you a secret about me and my family. You can't tell anyone, but if we're going to be soulmates you need to know this."

Clara's eyes widened and she nodded solemnly.

"All right." Meg scooted closer and lowered her voice. "My dad is Steve Rogers, and my mom is Diana Lawrence, and my soulmate is Steven Jarvis Stark but we call him Jay, and, uh, yeah. That's me."

Clara's eyes were the size of saucers. "You're Captain America's kid!"

"Shhh," Meg said. "And he's not Captain America anymore, he retired."

"But still!" Clara waved her arms around frantically. "That's awesome! You're the best soulmate ever!" She frowned. "I feel like, way too normal now."

Meg hugged her tightly. "There is no such thing as a normal person. You're amazing in your own way. And besides, I'm normal. Mom's normal. Half the superheroes are normal, they've just worked really hard or they've got special suits and stuff."

"Hm."

"No really, it's true. Mom said you could come over after school if you wanted to."

"Um, sure, I guess."

"Awesome."

The bell rang for next period, and a teacher came around the corner to give them a Look. They reluctantly separated for their classes, and promised to meet at the front of the building after school.

At 3:40, there was a silver sedan waiting for Meg in the pickup line. "Dad's back," she said cheerfully to Clara.

Clara paled. "What? He's picking us up?"

"Yeah. It's his turn because mom is in Manhattan till later."

"What do I call him?"

"Uh... I don't know. Just, Mr. Rogers, I guess, no that sounds weird, uh, Steve?"

"No way."

Steve got out of the car and opened the door for his daughter to slide in. "Hi, punkin," he said, kissing her hair.

"Hi dad." She smiled at him. "Dad, this is my soulmate, Clara Collins."

He held out a hand. "Nice to meet you, Clara."

"You too," Clara said nervously.

Meg ushered her soulmate into the back seat and they both put their backpacks in the front seat with Steve.

"Oh, I'm the chauffeur today," Steve smirked. "Where to, my ladies?" he asked, affecting a posh British accent.

Meg giggled. "Home, James."

"Right away." Steve dropped the accent. "How about we swing by for pizza and ice cream?"

"Yes!"

Steve chatted with the girls and put Clara at ease, and Meg thought her soulmate might just be feeling normal - when they pulled into the driveway, and saw three separate cars in the driveway. She groaned. "Who's here, dad?"

He frowned. "I don't know. I didn't think anyone was coming over-" he sighed. "It's Sam and Buck, we were gonna watch the game since Sam's back on this coast for a thing. I think Pietro's here too."

Meg groaned again. "When is mom coming home?"

"About six."

"Ugh. Okay."

So that's how Meg's soulmate met Falcon, Captain America, and Quicksilver in one go, and then an hour later she met the heir to Stark Industries, and then an hour after that she met Diana Lawrence, former head of accountability to the Avengers and SHIELD, now a best-selling author and consultant to the United Nations.

Clara, after some quiet fangirling, fit right in with them.


	3. Sharing is Caring

**A/N: Hello! I bring you, at reader request, Meg/Jay/Clara friendship and fluff :)**

 **Sharing is Caring**

Meg had two soulmates. Jay Stark, and Clara Collins. The initial meeting between Jay and Clara went well, a mutual hi, who are you, how much ranch are you gonna put on your pizza? Ranch, you uneducated mortal? Then a few laughs, and some Xbox playing. Afterwards... it was a little rough.

"What do you mean you're busy?" Jay asked, his jaw on the ground.

"I'm going with Clara to the mall. Her cousin has a manicure place and we're gonna do our nails and look around. Mom's taking us." The three security guards and one superhero (Pietro) were not mentioned, as they were a de facto part of life.

"Oh," Jay said, dropping his gaze. "I, hope you have a good time."

"You can come if you want," Meg offered.

"No, that's boring. I have things to do anyways. Never mind."

Meg smiled at him. "We can hang out tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah. Stay safe."

"You too. No explosions."

Meg signed off, and Jay closed the video comm with a gusty sigh.

"Why the long face, kiddo?" Rhodey asked, as he passed through the living room.

"Meg's busy," Jay said, slumping back into the sofa.

"So?"

"She's busy with her other soulmate," Jay grumbled, folding his arms.

Rhodey hid a smile behind his hand and sat down on the sofa next to Jay. He slung an arm around him. "How many soulmates does your aunt Di have?" he asked.

"Lots," Jay muttered.

"And do any of them feel neglected?"

Jay thought about it. "No," he said.

"And how many soulmates does your dad have?"

"Three."

"Has he ever neglected any of 'em?"

"No."

"Do you think Meg's gonna abandon you?"

"No?"

Rhodey sighed and hugged him. "C'mon, Jay. The two of you have been inseperable since she was born. She's not going to up and forget you. She's just got a new friend, a new soulmate, who's a girl. They're gonna be like sisters. You've gotta respect that, man."

"I do, I just," Jay huffed impatiently. "She's my soulmate."

Rhodey ruffled the boy's hair. "Sharing is caring, squirt."

"Whatever," Jay said, but Rhodey could see the young man was thinking about it.

Two hours later, Jay was surprised by a call from Clara. "Hello?" he asked.

"Jay! Wanna come see a movie with us?"

He stared at the cell phone. "I thought you guys were busy?" he asked.

"Well we did our nails and then we found some cute dresses but we wanted to watch the new Jurassic Park movie in 4D, so you have to come with us to break down the mechanics so Clara won't freak out. Please?"

Jay smiled. "Sure. I'll be there in fifteen."

"Jay, it takes thirty minutes to get to the mall."

"I know."

"Jay."

He sighed. "Fine. Twenty five minutes."

"Kay."

Jay, accompanied by his own security guard, hopped in a car and headed for the mall. The girls and Aunt Diana were waiting for him by the movie theater entrance. "Hey," he said, kissing his aunt on the cheek and smiling at the two girls. "Shall we?"

He insisted on paying, since he was the gentleman, ("and the billionaire" "Yeah, yeah, whatever Jay"), and they all got popcorn and drinks.

Jay suddenly found himself sitting between the two girls. He shifted awkwardly a few times, since sharing an armrest with a semi-stranger was always an awkward experience, but he and Clara made it work.

After the movie, Diana asked them what they wanted to do. "We could go back to the house for dinner," she offered. "Steve's making fettucini alfredo."

"Yes!" Jay and Meg instantly yelled. "It's the best," Jay assured Clara, who looked a little startled at the enthusiastic response.

"Cool," Clara said, nodding. "That sounds great."

By the end of dinner, Jay decided Clara was okay. He was reassured by the fact that Meg included him and Clara in conversation equally, and Clara thought he was awesome. He caught her looking at him strangely a couple of times, and wondered why.

He cornered her in the living room, while Meg was helping her mom with the dishes. "What's up?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. The "Pepper Potts" eyebrow he'd inherited worked on everybody.

Clara caved instantly. "I don't know," she said, shrugging. "I guess, I'm just a little jealous I think."

"Huh?" came the witty response.

She shrugged again. "I mean, you and Meg have been soulmates for like, ever, and, I'm the new one. You and Meg have all these inside jokes, and you know her super well, and I, don't. I don't know. Sorry for staring at you."

Jay gave her a slight smile. So they were both jealous. Huh. "Don't worry about it," he assured her, slinging an arm around her shoulders like he would do to Meg. "We can share. You'll have plenty of time to make your own inside jokes. Trust me, we're a very joking family. So many puns. Probably too many dad jokes."

She grinned.

Meg came out of the kitchen, and beamed at them. "I'm really glad you guys are being friends too," she declared, hugging them both. "Okay, so, we have ice cream or cake, plus the latest episode of Doctor Who."

"Ice cream," Jay said, at the same time Clara said,

"Cake."

They shared a glance, and chorused, "Both."

Meg grinned. "Both is good."

 **A/N 2: Next chapter, coming soon: we go back in time to see Bucky/Nat fluff!**


	4. Russian Roulette

**A/N: Hi guys! The long-awaited BuckyNat adventure... "thankfully" I got sick, and had the free time to finish writing it.**

 **Russian Roulette**

 _(takes place sometime before Infinity Wars)_

"Bucky, Nat, you're up," Diana announced, walking into the training room where most of the Avengers were working out.

Nat rolled to a graceful standing position, and Bucky put down his weights. They both walked over. "Mission?" Natasha asked.

"Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go undercover in Poland and rescue a group of mutants. They were taken prisoner by scientists researching the X-gene. Your secondary priority is to sweep up all the data from the research, and if needed, destroy it."

"What about the scientists?"

"SHIELD will take them into custody if they can, but focus on the rescue."

Two terse nods. "When do we leave?"

Diana handed Natasha the tablet. "Whenever you're ready."

"Awesome."

Between the two spies, they had the information analyzed and their covers perfected by the end of the day. Natasha was now black-haired, with dark brown eyes, and Bucky was wearing a subtle face-mask to alter the shape of his nose and jaw.

"You know, this was a lot easier when no one on the planet knew what I looked like," Bucky griped, adjusting the mask so it wouldn't give him a butt-chin.

Natasha leaned over his shoulder to smirk at him in the mirror. "Poor, poor superhero," she sympathized. "You have to wear a disguise like everybody else." She patted his cheek with a patronizing air and turned away to finish the last touches on her makeup.

Bucky watched in awe as Natasha changed the look of her face with makeup. "Awesome," he said. "You look like a forty-year-old now."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Keep it up, Barnes, we'll see if you don't look your real age by the time we get there."

"Whatever, Romanoff."

"Doctors Marko and Triesse" were on a quinjet bound for Poland.

They made landfall at night, and checked into a double bed suite in a cute little hotel on the edge of town. It was only ten minutes from the laboratory where the mutants were being held. There, they changed from slacks and button ups to dark casual clothes perfect for a little casual spying.

"High security," Bucky mentioned to Natasha, as they circled the block. "Cameras extending to the opposite side of the street. Smile."

She leaned up on her toes to kiss his cheek. "Normal high security, or our kind of high?"

He smirked and tugged at one of her jet-black braids. "Medium high, I'd say AIM-style. Biometric scans, wouldn't you say?"

"Probably. We'll need a scientist guide to get us inside."

"Yup." He directed her to the corner of the block, where a man was selling hot cups of tea. "Two please," he said, in flawless Polish.

He handed over two cups of strong, milky tea, and Natasha smiled her thanks as they walked away.

She took a sip. "Mm, clove. Definitely an outside guard."

"Yup."

"Is that all you're gonna say?" she demanded.

"Yup." He slurped at his tea.

"Pig."

"Yup."

She rolled her eyes at him. "You and Clint are spending too much time together."

"What? I had to see all the Fast and Furious movies."

She rolled her eyes again. "Shall we send an email, back-date it, and come back tomorrow?"

"We shall." He offered her his arm, and they strolled back to the inn, a picture of perfect contentment.

As soon as they got inside the room, Natasha sent an email to the lab, back-dated by three weeks, informing them of their visit from nearby Bio-Len labs. Inside the email was a virus that would insert an appointment into the calendar. "All right, we're good to go," she said.

Bucky nodded. "I'll take first watch."

"No, no, no, age before beauty," Natasha said, gesturing to the bed. "You need your rest, old man."

He rolled his eyes and flopped onto the bed. "Are you ever gonna stop making that joke?" he asked, kicking his shoes off.

"Nope." She perched on the edge of the sofa, facing the two exits.

"Is Steve still getting his anonymous AARP subscription?" Bucky asked, closing his eyes.

Natasha smirked. "Yup."

"Awesome. You know he actually uses it right? He gets senior discounts literally everywhere."

"I know. Why do you think I keep sending them to him?" She threw a pen at his arm, and it clanged. She smirked. "Why don't you get an AARP? You're the same age."

"I don't go out as much," Bucky grunted, throwing the pen back at her.

She dodged it. "You're boring, Barnes."

"Shut up, Tasha, I'm trying to sleep here."

She rolled her eyes.

At two in the morning, they traded. Bucky took watch, and Natasha curled up in his spot on the bed. "It's warm," she explained, to his curious gaze, pulling the covers up to her chin.

He just smiled.

The next morning, at 0800, Dr's Marko and Triesse presented themselves at the Polish lab. "We are here for our tour," Dr. Triesse said, her French accent fluid and enticing.

"Tour?" the startled assistant said, tapping at his computer frantically. "I don't think a tour is scheduled today-" His sentence broke off as he noticed hte little green square. "Oh," he said, clearing his throat. "I see that it is scheduled. One moment, please, while I call Dr. Marcus up here."

"Of course young man," Natasha replied, giving him a reassuring smile.

Dr. Marcus was a balding man who had evil intent shining from his eyes. He tried to cover it with a suave exterior, but both Avengers could sense it. Here was a ruthless man.

Bucky and Natasha exchanged a glance. They were not expecting the mutants to be in good condition when they found them, if someone like this was in charge of the experimentation.

They both paid half an ear to the tour, made the appropriate flattering comments, and scrupulously noticed everything Dr. Marcus didn't mention. It was a long list. There were also two unlabeled underground levels on the elevator...

After the tour, they gave their tanks to Dr. Marcus, and walked back to their inn. As soon as they got inside, Bucky turned on the dampening field in his suitcase. "When do we want to go in?" he asked.

"Tonight. We can't wait any longer."

They spent the rest of the day preparing their suits. Bucky and Natasha made a small contest of how many weapons they could fit in their suits. Bucky won by virtue of his arm being a plethora of weapons in itself.

The rest of the evening they spent resting and watching TV, cuddling on the bed. "You know, this is the most comfortable mission I've been on," Bucky decided, kissing her hair.

She poked him in the side. "Don't get too comfortable. In an hour and a half we have to rescue an unknown amount of mutants from an unknown underground compound."

"Suck the joy out of everything why dontcha," Bucky grumbled.

She rolled her eyes. "Buck, you are the personification of grumpy cat."

He smirked.

An hour and a half later they were sneaking back into the laboratory facility. With the biometric samples they'd collected earlier from the scientists, it was a piece of cake to fake the security scans and gain access. They bypassed the elevator altogether, and used the elevator shaft.

The underground levels reeked of antiseptic. "That's not a good smell," Bucky said grimly, ignoring the encroaching flashbacks to his past.

"No it is not," Natasha agreed. She touched his right arm. "You okay?"

"Fine." He heard a noise, and pointed. "That way."

They stalked down the hallway, and came to a row of holding cells. "Can you scan?" Natasha whispered.

"No, it's too heavily shielded." He gestured to the door. "Ladies first."

"Such a gentleman, Barnes," she grumbled, and picked the lock.

The door swung open, and they caught the smell of injury and fear. There were four people sitting on the floor, bruised and patched up, their beige scrubs dirty. "Who are you?" the oldest one asked, after a stunned moment.

Natasha gave him a small smile. "We're Avengers. We're here to get you out. Can you walk?"

They all nodded, and Bucky hauled them to their feet. Gently. "How many more are there?" he asked.

"Nine more," the older one said again. "Which heroes are you?"

"Black Widow, Winter Soldier," Natasha said.

"Oh. Cool."

The rest of the prisoners were in about the same shape, and the two spies herded their little group back to the elevator shaft. "Widow, go," Bucky ordered.

She went up to the top, and Bucky sent up the mutants. One of them was able to teleport herself right up to the top, and helped Natasha haul the other ones out.

"We have five minutes before the midnight walkthrough," Natasha reported.

"Uh-oh." Bucky grabbed the last mutant, a little girl, by the waist, and scrambled up the elevator shaft. "Let's go."

They put the cameras on a loop, and slipped out of the laboratory through the back doors. They were on the street within a minute. "Okay everybody, look casual," Bucky muttered, giving them a bracing grin.

Two yards away from the laboratory, all the mutants' arms began to flash.

"What in the heck," Bucky hissed.

Their rescuees all looked terrified. "They must have tagged us," one of them wailed. "We were unconscious a lot of the time."

Lights in the lab began to snap on, and alarms began to blare.

"Let's go," Natasha snapped, urging them all into a run. "Never mind stealth. Let's go!"

They hustled down to the inn, and Natasha activated the dampening field. Their arms stopped flashing. "okay, we have a minute before they trace the source of the dampening field," she said, and clicked on the computer. "Home base this is Operation Streetcar, calling for immediate extraction for eleven people."

It was Tony on the other side. "Operation Streetcar, this is Home base. A private plane is avaialable ten miles west of your position, in a private airfield."

"Copy that. Over and out." Natasha looked at the others. "Ten miles west. We need to get those things out of your arms."

They all winced.

"I know," she said, grimacing. "It's gonna hurt. Sorry."

"Do it," one of the mutants said.

The nine procedures were quick, bloody, and had everybody gritting their teeth in anxiety. But it was done in less than five minutes, while Bucky went to steal a car.

Shoving eleven people in a five-person car was like Twister gone horribly wrong, but they fit, and Bucky broke all the traffic laws between the inn and the airport. There was no one following them, but still. The Winter Soldier was well-known for his paranoia.

The little airplane was waiting for them, a SHIELD pilot at the helm. "Welcome aboard," she told the weary little band. "We're bound for England, by the way," she added. "Food and drinks, and first aid kits, in the cupboards."

"Thanks."

Natasha and Bucky made sure everyone was set up, and spent the three hours to England on alert. The mission wasn't over until the mutants were safely delivered.

Thankfully nothing happened, and the nine rescuees rested in one of SHIELD's med wards while they recovered. Diana vid-commed them to give them an update. The laboratory had "mysteriously" burned down in what looked like a gas leak, destroying all the information inside of it.

"Whoops," Bucky said innocently.

Diana rolled her eyes at them over the screen. "We'll see you when you get home," she said. "Good job."

"See you tomorrow, doll." Bucky turned off the tablet and looked at Natasha. "What do you say we go out for dinner?"

"You buying?"

"Of course. Whatdya take me for?"

Natasha smirked and kissed his cheek. "A gentleman."


End file.
